Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Life can be funny sometimes. It throws curve balls, bumps, detours, construction and good things all at different times. Sometimes it seems as if all the negative things happen at once. I tend to dream about places over the rainbow, lands and adventures far away. I think most creative people do. I often think that all the times that I get put down by things it is so hard to bring myself back up, but I do. Some how I always do. I have help most times, friends, family and love. I believe that one day I will find my place in life. Maybe I have found it and I am trying to fight some of it. Maybe I am a bit lost at times. I form attachments just like everyone else, I make mistakes Just like everyone else.

Some sad news, my squirrel had something wrong with him and passed during the night. I am very upset about this. I needed that little guy. he was making me very happy. The boy wants to get me a kitten and as much as I want one, I feel bad and as if I don't deserve one. I know that once everything is sorted it will be a good thing for me to have one. Plus he is trying really hard to make me feel better.Things have been pretty rough these past few months for me. I have been more open to him about my feelings, even though sometimes they are said in shouting matches, or anger. I think he finally knows how I feel. 

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Sacrifices and marrige

Image by NapaneeGal via Flickr

Image by Andrea Costa Photography via Flickr

So things keep getting more and more trying. I currently am in the middle of a dilemma, in order to save my relationship and marriage we are thinking about moving to Florida.  We know that we can build a life there together, we know that it will be a new life for us, and we both know that this is what it will take to save our hearts and relationship. The bad part you may ask............? I am having to sacrifice my dreams and goals. Or more likely, putting them on hold. As well as saying goodbye to my friends and life that I have worked very hard to achieve. I fear that if I do this my marriage will be saved but what about my self. I have been thinking about things that could work where I can do both jobs and make both work. I fear being put into a cage, no adventure, no life, or  worse dullness. 

But then I look at him, I realize how much I love him, all that he is. He really is an amazing man, he just hides under this scared little boy. I wonder if all men go through this. If all women go through what I am experiencing. He doesn't realize how much I love him for him. That he is a wonderful man and person. 

I am at a major passing in my life right now I have to choose which way to go. There is no scarecrow to help me along the way, no Tin man to hold my hand, and no Lion to protect. ::laughs:: Although I do feel as if the Wizard of Oz is somewhat of fate making me find and get the witch's broom. Maybe this is something that will give me time to focus on my book, blogs, self, and other things. I will try to stay positive and I will blog about the trials as usual.

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