Glitter Glam Star: Advice

Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Life can play out funny and unexpected sometimes. We never know what will be handed to us or what will come up. sometimes it is something that is taken away without warning. Lately I have been trying to figure out why I have been handed the cards of blah. Things are going so well minus the dating department. So some jerk broke my heart, stole my money and cheated on me. Then I cool it for a while and meet yet another amazing person and begin to show feelings towards him. Things were going well and then without warning he disappeared into oblivion and now avoids me like the plauge. Ok. Then I start meeting these guys (not a lot) and going on dates only to find out that I must have personal escort written on my forhead. No!! Just because I am saying yes to going on a date with you does not mean that I will hop in the sack. Left and right I am just getting more and more disappointed in the the men around here. While my friends just get luckier and luckier. not that I mind, I am very happy that my friends keep getting great things in their lives. Babies, weddings, engagements, boyfriends...etc. I am becoming more and more the third, sometimes fifth wheel. I go through these stages of acceptance...well Im happy being single...then it will be well I feel kinda lonely today. Back and forth like a bloody tennis match. for example I had a date with a guy today, he asked em to go to lunch with him at a pretty nice restaruant and right before I was about to leave he asked what I was doing afterwards. I told him I had to get back to get some work done. He then told me he want to "hang out" with me after wards and again I told him I couldn't. Now we didnt even get to lunch yet and this guy just assumes that we would hit it off enough to continue the date. When I told him I couldnt he then sent me a text..a text! telling me that he is going to have to pass on lunch. rEally? because I wont sleep with you on the first date you wont even take me on a first date. looser! But still after having something happen like this and then hearing stories of how wonderful my friends dates, boyfriends etc are I just get a little upset. understandably so. Still I can not loose hope or faith right?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I sometimes think that I am dreaming

Image via Wikipedia

I know I believe that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish that I could freeze moments. I am doing really well with most of the things in my life right now. I am officially an editor, I still get to do my art work, I still get to do freelance. I am so happy about this. I also have been given a gift...one that I can't metion till Monday but I can say that it has made me very very happy. I also have been dancing more and more, going out and even dancing by myself. I love it. I am dating and happy to be single with minor thoughts here and there. I was in mjqs Wednesday and all I could think of for some reason was him, my birthday and the thought of kissing him. I don't know why, I know that it has passed and I am obviously not what he wants but I still can't get him out my mind. It's not all the time just at random moments and always at the wrong tim

I can't deny that things are good, I am dancing again, not just in the clubs but everywhere. I am smiling for no reason but because I am happy. I have come a long way some might not see it or might not know. It is hard to see through the metal walls that I have up. It is very true that a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. I know the man that actually wants to know them will be the one worth my time. I also have way more confidence than I ever thought I could have. I mean if you were to see me in high school compared to now it would be a big difference. I was shy, quiet and only my friends knew the "me" that was screaming to get out. I don't regret very much that I have done, said or had done to me. I have learned a lot from my mistakes, heart ache, shame, sadnes, happiness, etc.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy Wholadays

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the weather, decorations, clothes, gatherings, etc. Its just so beautiful. It's also that time of year that I get the loneliness. yeah yeah I know sappy. Not so much to be in a relationship, knowing that I really don't want to be serious right now. Just someone to spend time with, to share things with, cuddle and to do things with. Seems somewhat shellfish but its the truth. i know I keep saying redundant things these past few entries, maybe its to reassure me that I do this blog for myself and no one else. Well maybe for the poor souls who have similar happenings in their life.

I know I should consider myself lucky, I have a great apartment, spectacular view, started writing my book (I know finally), trying to get or company going, and getting my life back on track. I tend to get a bit depressed thinking about the relationships that I have wasted my young twenties on. Yes, I do look at them as learning experiences but I still wish that I was strong enough to have stood up for myself more. Now here I am 26, single, finding out about myself for the first time. Well, My friend has been helping me work on that for about two years now, haha! But none the less, I guess I will be the one saying that it is never to late to do something, or to find something out or to follow your dreams. It may be hard but isn't it supposed to be?
I sit here typing about my life hoping that some where out there, there is someone that will get me, understand me, love me, and want to spend time with me because of me. Some day soon.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Secret affairs and matters of the hear

Do you ever feel as if you are just waiting

Image by Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com)
, waiting for an answer, a solution, an absolution. Sometimes I feel as if I wait and worry constantly about so many things. Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw so many faces, and shapes that you just keep staring to keep your self entertained? Sometimes I can just stare into the mirror and watch myself change and adapt to my mind. Sounds weird but I am willing to bet most of you have done it. It happens mostly when we are at our weakest point or highest point. At our extremes.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sacrifices and marrige

Image by NapaneeGal via Flickr

Image by Andrea Costa Photography via Flickr

So things keep getting more and more trying. I currently am in the middle of a dilemma, in order to save my relationship and marriage we are thinking about moving to Florida. We know that we can build a life there together, we know that it will be a new life for us, and we both know that this is what it will take to save our hearts and relationship. The bad part you may ask............? I am having to sacrifice my dreams and goals. Or more likely, putting them on hold. As well as saying goodbye to my friends and life that I have worked very hard to achieve. I fear that if I do this my marriage will be saved but what about my self. I have been thinking about things that could work where I can do both jobs and make both work. I fear being put into a cage, no adventure, no life, or worse dullness.

But then I look at him, I realize how much I love him, all that he is. He really is an amazing man, he just hides under this scared little boy. I wonder if all men go through this. If all women go through what I am experiencing. He doesn't realize how much I love him for him. That he is a wonderful man and person.

I am at a major passing in my life right now I have to choose which way to go. There is no scarecrow to help me along the way, no Tin man to hold my hand, and no Lion to protect. ::laughs:: Although I do feel as if the Wizard of Oz is somewhat of fate making me find and get the witch's broom. Maybe this is something that will give me time to focus on my book, blogs, self, and other things. I will try to stay positive and I will blog about the trials as usual.