the Idea of a soul mate

Its funny to think of how things change, progress, develop. Take for example the fact that I was going to get married, me...yes as much as I want to find that someone that compliments me woop woop, I also came to the acceptance that I might not get married. I really didn't expect a man to "get" me. I was a bit out of sorts yesterday because it marked the one month point. Then as if by awesome powers at be, the bestest friend called. We had decided the day before that we would be each others V day dates. So we decided to go all dressed up to a diner, have a ridiculous meal for two, drink and celebrate our lives and this new year. Our year! Now back to the soul make comment. I believe that we all have soul mates, yes I really do and not just one. My cat for example, call me crazy but this little bugger is one of them, he is like my Spirit guide of sorts. Then there is the best friend. When I met Askia we both knew right away that we had met our friend match and that we would be friends for a very long time. I have come to realize this past year how much it really means. At first we did some sessions and this girl got things out of me that I had buried deep within, she got me to open up and be myself with no regrets, no hatred towards myself. At times yes I might need to tighten the reigns on myself for the shear fact that I can be a bit overpowering. So last night we talked about things of past and things of future. We find it a bit ironic that the both of us were in serious relationships and at the same time found out how ridiculous these men were and that we weren't happy. We both helped each other through the break ups and through the "I want to kill myself with the....death by sugar approach!" but in the end we both made it out just fine.
Now the two of us have decided to accomplish our bucket list together. We want the so many of the same things out of life and we both have finally found someone to share it with..and who will also push us to do them.

Sacrifices and marrige

Image by NapaneeGal via Flickr

Image by Andrea Costa Photography via Flickr

So things keep getting more and more trying. I currently am in the middle of a dilemma, in order to save my relationship and marriage we are thinking about moving to Florida.  We know that we can build a life there together, we know that it will be a new life for us, and we both know that this is what it will take to save our hearts and relationship. The bad part you may ask............? I am having to sacrifice my dreams and goals. Or more likely, putting them on hold. As well as saying goodbye to my friends and life that I have worked very hard to achieve. I fear that if I do this my marriage will be saved but what about my self. I have been thinking about things that could work where I can do both jobs and make both work. I fear being put into a cage, no adventure, no life, or  worse dullness. 

But then I look at him, I realize how much I love him, all that he is. He really is an amazing man, he just hides under this scared little boy. I wonder if all men go through this. If all women go through what I am experiencing. He doesn't realize how much I love him for him. That he is a wonderful man and person. 

I am at a major passing in my life right now I have to choose which way to go. There is no scarecrow to help me along the way, no Tin man to hold my hand, and no Lion to protect. ::laughs:: Although I do feel as if the Wizard of Oz is somewhat of fate making me find and get the witch's broom. Maybe this is something that will give me time to focus on my book, blogs, self, and other things. I will try to stay positive and I will blog about the trials as usual.

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