Here we go again. I want some more, what are you waiting for. I feel incredible lately, the weather makes me so much happier. It seems like clockwork every year I make the biggest changes of my life around these few months at the end of the year. I feel it! I am getting an apartment, right in the middle of the busy part of the city, my friend and mine's company has a pre-opening in November at a major fundraiser, and I am slowly realizing that to love someone is to forgive, grow, and accept things. Even loving yourself means doing these things. I have to learn to forgive myself, love myself, and learn that all these things that happen in my life are all part of growing up. I am learning that I am who I am. Some people get me, some don't and some won't ever get me. I can't apologize for the things I do that are me and I can apologize for the things that I may hurt some people.
I am a true believer of life falls in and out according to itself, or to say in other words, things happen for a reason. True some don't share the same
beliefs that I do. There are some that may tell me that things are
God's plan or Buddha's, maybe even
Shiva, whomever you want to call it. Me I call it fate. But fate only can bring you so far, once you get there its up to you to make things happen. As far as the traveling that I keep talking about. I really want to take a trip. Either it be with the boy, friends, or myself, I want to take a trip. I really think that it is going to be NYC. Each time I have gone there in the past few years I haven't really gotten to see it. Plus, I love the Holidays and I always hear that The Big Apple is really beautiful during the holidays. Plus I might actually get to see snow. We shall see. I will keep my fingers crossed.
It takes a lot of courage to step out your door and even more courage to take that first step. Right now I feel as if I am taking giant leaps into the world! I have been in such a good mood and even though I know that things can't always be in the sunny side up of life I am not worrying about the bad days or sad days that I will encounter. IT is weird for me to think that I have been single, happy, busy, and moving forward towards things that I want in and out of life. It may take a while or I may hit snags but Im here. I actually look in the mirror and like what I see...no love what I see. I can run two miles now and walk 10. I have a wonderful apartment and a even more wonderful cat. A wonderful family and fantastic friends. This is the stuff that you see in a movie when things are looking up. also was thinking about the fact that I have been single now for a full eight months and I actually am happy about this. I know that I will one day find the man of my dreams but I am having a good time living in my own place, doing the things I want and not have to worry about the stress a relatioship can put on me. no I am not giving up on love, love is all around me. My friends have a great mariage and have now asked me to be the godmother of their future child...I cant begin to tell how happy this makes me. My "sister" and her husband are amazing together, my parents, and several other people that make me believe that I will one day have someone to share my heart with. Until then I am going to keep on with me.
