Secret affairs and matters of the hear

Do you ever feel as if you are just waitingImage by Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com)  
, waiting for an answer, a solution, an absolution. Sometimes I feel as if I wait and worry constantly about so many things. Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw so many faces, and shapes that you just keep staring to keep your self entertained? Sometimes I can just stare into the mirror and watch myself change and adapt to my mind. Sounds weird but I am willing to bet most of you have done it. It happens mostly when we are at our weakest point or highest point. At our extremes. 

I am reading a book, "The Artist's Way", and it is excellent. It is a book full of ways to get back to your inner most creative self. Doing exercises and tasks that help bring out the things that have been blocking ones creative capability. It is a great read, and I actually started writing again. Its great to be doing things again. Starting back up with dance, starting the company, starting writing and starting a whole new life of adventures. I have to keep my head up and move forward. 

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Lessons in relationships

The past few days have been some of the most important days and moment of my life. I had some pre wedding jitters I guess you could call them. I want things to go more my way thinking that if I pressure and control that they will all work out. But case is no. We have to learn how to compromise, sacrifice, love, forgive and move forward. We BOTH need to sacrifice and right now I have to make the decision to sacrifice things just as much as him. The same goes for him.   I thought that we ended things today, I thought that I was losing the man I love so much that bullets would not stop me from loving him. I was staying at my best friend's house the past few days and had done some serious soul searching. I started today with being single again to fighting for the very thing that I was running from fear, love, and stubbornness. Now I am not saying that he doesn't have to do the same, but if it means that I have to give up certain things, or do certain things to save this marriage I will. On one condition..... he has to sacrifice, change and do things that he didn't think he could do. he has to help me save this as well! 

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