I sometimes think that I am dreaming

Image via Wikipedia

I know I believe that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wish that I could freeze moments. I am doing really well with most of the things in my life right now. I am officially an editor, I still get to do my art work, I still get to do freelance. I am so happy about this. I also have been given a gift...one that I can't metion till Monday but I can say that it has made me very very happy. I also have been dancing more and more, going out and even dancing by myself. I love it. I am dating and happy to be single with minor thoughts here and there. I was in mjqs Wednesday and all I could think of for some reason was him, my birthday and the thought of kissing him. I don't know why, I know that it has passed and I am obviously not what he wants but I still can't get him out my mind. It's not all the time just at random moments and always at the wrong tim

I can't deny that things are good, I am dancing again, not just in the clubs but everywhere. I am smiling for no reason but because I am happy. I have come a long way some might not see it or might not know. It is hard to see through the metal walls that I have up. It is very true that a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. I know the man that actually wants to know them will be the one worth my time. I also have way more confidence than I ever thought I could have. I mean if you were to see me in high school compared to now it would be a big difference. I was shy, quiet and only my friends knew the "me" that was screaming to get out. I don't regret very much that I have done, said or had done to me. I have learned a lot from my mistakes, heart ache, shame, sadnes, happiness, etc.

Related articles

• When in Doubt, Dance (collectingyourself.wordpress.com)
• A Real Kiss (aloveinterrupted.wordpress.com)
• dreaming of reality (enreal.wordpress.com)
• He came and stole my heart... (bakaonna.wordpress.com)

Secret affairs and matters of the hear

Do you ever feel as if you are just waitingImage by Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com)  
, waiting for an answer, a solution, an absolution. Sometimes I feel as if I wait and worry constantly about so many things. Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw so many faces, and shapes that you just keep staring to keep your self entertained? Sometimes I can just stare into the mirror and watch myself change and adapt to my mind. Sounds weird but I am willing to bet most of you have done it. It happens mostly when we are at our weakest point or highest point. At our extremes. 

I am reading a book, "The Artist's Way", and it is excellent. It is a book full of ways to get back to your inner most creative self. Doing exercises and tasks that help bring out the things that have been blocking ones creative capability. It is a great read, and I actually started writing again. Its great to be doing things again. Starting back up with dance, starting the company, starting writing and starting a whole new life of adventures. I have to keep my head up and move forward. 

Related articles by Zemanta

• "Eat, Pray, Love, Search on Yahoo!" and related posts (ysearchblog.com)
• Secrets Lovers Keep (socyberty.com)
• The Power of Secrets (psychologytoday.com)

Confessions of the Broken heart, who fell for the beautiful mind

Image via WikipediaSo I have decided to take a break. Take a break from reality maybe. I have postponed the wedding and have decided that I wasn't ready. I needed to have some time to sit back and work things out in my life. There are also things that he needed to work on and that is why we are taking this time to work things out. I have been through some tough things in my life but nothing compares to this. How do you try and help someone you love. Someone that you care about so so much and don't want any harm coming to that person. Yet, they don't know they need help or to work things out in their lives. The man that has loved me the most and still loves me the most needs to learn to accept and love himself. It feels as if my heart is being torn in two. It feels like my soul has been separated. Can a man go crazy from loving someone so much? I feel that he started to have a breakdown the closer and closer we were getting to the wedding. Now he is up north getting the information to which he needs. I am down here the furthest away from my heart, trying to carry on. I am moving to a new place, starting a company, trying to stay busy and exercise. Yet, ever night before I close my eyes, all I see is him. All I dream about is him. Everyone tries to tell me their ways to get over someone, or how to forget and move on. i don't want to forget him. I love him. More than any one I have ever been with. Not for all the stories, and the things that he said to impress me. It was the man that he was when we were together. No one else just us. The man that would watch movies with me or walk on the beach and just be. When we were away from everything. But life isn't a fairy tail, everything happens for a reason, but you have to fight sometimes to figure out what those reasons are. No one can tell you to stop loving someone or how to live your life. You friends and family can only guide you the best they know how. We all can give each other advice and take what we can from it. It has been a while since I have written, but I just couldn't get myself to open up my blogger and talk about this yet. Starting today I will just keep at it. Remember we are all in this together, I must keep reminding myself.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Confession to Absolution (beliefnet.com)
• How Castaway made my life hell (guardian.co.uk)
• When yes or no isn't the answer (cnn.com)
• Lessons From A Shell Shocked Love (clutchmagonline.com)
• The Best Cure for a Broken Heart (socyberty.com)
• The Best Part of Life is Love Not The Heart of Life (socyberty.com)
• Love Lessons (socyberty.com)
• Stem Cells To Fix A Broken Heart (medicalnewstoday.com)

Today Today Today

Image by ucumari via Flickr

So started a new thing today. Geo Caching! Yes, I know that people have been doing it for years, but wow. I never thought that something so tiny and out of the blue could be so rewarding. I had so much fun looking at my phone as a map and compass. Walking around  the city finding the location. It was relaxing just thinking about the mini adventure I was on. 

Related articles by Zemanta

• Geo-caching: A decade of technology-enhanced scavenger hunts (nj.com)

Money, Money, Money..must be funny...in a rich man's world

I wonder if this is how most people start off to certain epiphanies in their life. Well at least in mine. Not to sound horribly spoiled but I didn't exactly have a horrible life. So now that things pop into reality about Starting my own business, getting married, and growing up kinda have me freaking out a little bit. I never thought that at 26 I would be doing all of these things Yes, I may have dreamed that it would happen but it actually becoming a reality......? Never! The things I thought that I wanted are completely different then the things that I am wanting now. Its weird I suppose to expect so much from my life at this age and then to get what I expect is a whole other story. I wanted to get married....I'm engaged. I wanted to own my own business.......I am starting a company with my friend.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Defining an entrepreneur (ajaimk.com)