the stress bucket of fun

Image by Eyesplash via FlickrWow, I havent been on here in a hot miniute. I semi miss my blog of nonsense. Since I started this new job I have been super busy with studying and preparing to go out in the field that my mind has started frying. not only is my art being put on hold for a moment but I think my cat might bite my jugular in my sleep. haha Its still nice to have something to come home to. More and more I see how my life is changing...not in a bad way actually in a very good way. I am so happy that the Mother is guiding me into a world anew and giving me challenges. Now don't get me wrong I am a little freaked out at the moment hoping that I dont screw anything up, but I am still driving home smiling and proud of myself everyday for not quiting. I just keep saying to myself...you can do this....you got this...you know that you wil succeed. Tomorrow is my video presentation and this weekend I will do some of my partaking observations, then doing my presentations in front of my trainer then I am out in the feild. Good gracious. Again..I got this I got this.
I also am noticing that the fact that the guy I thought was perfect was just another ass that I need not to deal with. Do I still have feelings for him? Of course I really wanted to be with this guy, but I am realizing that I can do better and I will wait for someone that deserves me. Anywho I will leave off with this:
Don't be with a person if you pine for someone else. Don't say you love someone and lust after another. Speak the truth and be happy, things happen for a reason but fate can only bring you so far, once you get there it is up to you to push for your destiny.

Random thought at 3:30

(Image by Brandon Christopher Warren via Flickr)
Image via WikipediaDon't give up hope on love. I believe that is not a request that is a demand. I am not sure if i was pmsing last night but I was incredibly bitter for some reason or another. I just have had enough of sill childish relationships and the heart ache that comes with them. Im tired of not being able to trust my partner, tired of not having anything in common with them, tired of giving my all only to have them give me nothing in return. No I am not giving up on the fact that one day I will find someone. Im just simply saying that until that man comes along I am going to enjoy this new found independence. This has been the longest time I have ever been single and yes there are days that I get lonely and wish that prince charming would knock on my door, but the rest of the days I am loving thinking about me, just me. I love that I have my own place and my own things, I am keeping busy. there is someone out there for me, someone that I see in my dreams. I have decided on somethings in the past few months. I want to actually form my bucket list and each month do at least two things to cross off on the list. maybe the trips will be once a year but I will accomplish everything that I want to do in my life. I feel that we all deserve that. Some of us forget who we are along the road to love. We give up on ourselves for our significant other. Forget our dreams and goals. some are lucky enough to have a partner that doesn't sufficate them and actually helps them and encourages them . I have decided on the trip that I want to take this year, as much as I want to go to JApan, unfourtunately that wont happen this year, maybe I will get to volunteer there, but I have decided to save and make a trip to Venice. I love italy and have been to Venice twice, but I really want to go back for more than a day and enjoy the romance of venice, plus I feel comfortable enough there to explore and be safe. Plus it is a place I can sit and write. work on my art, my books, my self. ah a dream....a dream I will put into action. :