Babblings of a happy girl

Yes, it has been a ridiculously long time since I have been on here. My life has been a constant up and down lately, but as always I keep a positive outlook even on the days I want to just sit alone and cry. It has now been 11 months that I am single. where most would say this is a sad thing I am actually pretty happy about it at the moment.I know that when the time is right I will find the man that is right for me. I am not looking nor am I sitting around and waiting. I am living and intending on living my way for a long time. I am working on my art, life, happiness, making money, dancing and everything else that makes me smile. I don't have to answer to anyone and I dont have to worry about calling, texting, making sure I tell someone where I am or going or wondering the same for them. It isnt that I want to become asexual or anything. I am just lvoing my apartment and the fact that it is mine.......I am loving my life and the fact that it is my own.......and the awesome fact that If I want to be a goof ball I can. I can be myself.
I am working on my bucket list more and more. I am trying to get some Katana lessons and also working on setting up classes with my partner to teach our dance to. I am also very excited because this year will be the first year I will be attending Dragoncon!!! I cant wait. I already got one of my costumes in the mail and can't wait to put it on!!!
 Thousands upon thousands of people that are dorks ust like me!!! I cant believe how awesome this will be. Any who.... I am also dancing again which is making me happier, tomorrow finally going to one of my favorite dive places...MJQ's. Ok now I feel I am really rambling when all I wanted to do was update my working journal of sorts. ah well.
I hope everyone has a beautiful night and a wonderful morning! Peace, Love and Happiness!

 

Life can play out funny and unexpected sometimes. We never know what will be handed to us or what will come up. sometimes it is something that is taken away without warning. Lately I have been trying to figure out why I have been handed the cards of blah. Things are going so well minus the dating department. So some jerk broke my heart, stole my money and cheated on me. Then I cool it for a while and meet yet another amazing person and begin to show feelings towards him. Things were going well and then without warning he disappeared into oblivion and now avoids me like the plauge. Ok. Then I start meeting these guys (not a lot) and going on dates only to find out that I must have personal escort written on my forhead. No!! Just because I am saying yes to going on a date with you does not mean that I will hop in the sack. Left and right I am just getting more and more disappointed in the the men around here. While my friends just get luckier and luckier. not that I mind, I am very happy that my friends keep getting great things in their lives. Babies, weddings, engagements, boyfriends...etc. I am becoming more and more the third, sometimes fifth wheel. I go through these stages of acceptance...well Im happy being single...then it will be well I feel kinda lonely today. Back and forth like a bloody tennis match. for example I had a date with a guy today, he asked em to go to lunch with him at a pretty nice restaruant and right before I was about to leave he asked what I was doing afterwards. I told him I had to get back to get some work done. He then told me he want to "hang out" with me after wards and again I told him I couldn't. Now we didnt even get to lunch yet and this guy just assumes that we would hit it off enough to continue the date. When I told him I couldnt he then sent me a text..a text! telling me that he is going to have to pass on lunch. rEally? because I wont sleep with you on the first date you wont even take me on a first date. looser! But still after having something happen like this and then hearing stories of how wonderful my friends dates, boyfriends etc are I just get a little upset. understandably so. Still I can not loose hope or faith right?