Image via WikipediaMy Chucks take me walking, walking around the world. I love my Chuck Taylors. They are my favorite shoes. They are old and dirty, go with everything, (well almost anything) and they never disappoint me. My chucks take me out dancing, riding, driving, traveling, walking and they never tell me I look bad. Last night I went to MJQ's, one of the dirtiest, dingy clubs one could go to. Dancing and forgetting the world. When I dance I just let go, its one of the only times that I don't worry about anything. It is the time that I can be myself and not worry about what people think or expect of me. Plus, the best thing about this club is that most of the people that attend are misfits and outcasts. It's a place I can wear my little Plaid skirt, chucks or docs and don't think about my look. Just dance. I even gave myself a funky make shift Mohawk, I felt so at ease. I even battled this guy. My 10 minutes of Mjq fame. People circled around us, my heart was beating, ears blasting the sound, my head clear and just feeling the music and I just did it. I was nervous for only a moment, people watching can be a scary thing. But I did it. I finally realized that they were there watching me, Me. It is amazing how I can talk so well about dancing and how I feel when I dance, but ask me to describe my heart or what my dreams are I get so guarded. Sometimes I feel as if I will never be understood. Yes, I have great friends and a boyfriend that loves me. I am not saying that they don't care are accept me, I just don't tell people what is inside my head. Okay so the Becca's a bit crazy inside her head? Yes, I'll admit I tend to daydream a lot and inside my head there are secret wishes and dreams that I will never tell anyone about. I will tell my journal. ::smiles:: Sometimes I feel as if there is so much that I tell my journal and not others. Call it insecurity but I have always had one and its the one thing that I tell everything to. It's where I can express how I feel then go back to and actually try to understand myself. That's why I started this thing. I wanted it to be about me trying and learning to do new things each month, but I finally understood that life is the lesson. Learning how to live is what I need to be writing about. My mistakes, my journeys, and adventures. All of it. My dreams and wishes to be kept in the journal and one day I'll be brave enough to write my novel. One day I will write my poetry again. But today, Today I am happy just living. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I can do this. I can do this.
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