Friday, July 2, 2010

Moments of Realization

Can this work? Am I doomed to realize how ard it is to work on a relationship? I love my hubby to be and want to marry him but I am constantly holding bachelor-hood against him. He is so used to a particular lifestyle and then I come along and BAM! New rules, new borders and a new life. After talking to my father last night I feel ore confidant to stand up against certain things. My mom has been my lean on an helping to remind me how I love him and to hold on. Think of one thing a day, every morning that you wake up, that you love about him. Don't be shy or ashamed even if it is as simple as the way that he cuddles up with you when he knows you are about to leave. Things like doing this will not erase their idioticness or immaturity but will make you remember the reasons why you fell in love with them to begin with, and it makes it a litte easier.

We are leaving next week to go to the wedding planner and to interview, view and decided on more wedding things. I am very excited. I think that this will be the difinitive moment in our relationship. I also think that because we had such a brief courtship/dating period we are now going through things that most couples go through, we just have the pressure and stress of the wedding, money, love, relationshi, friends and whatever else we have involved ourselves in separately and now have to mold together and build a life with one another.

I also feel as if I am not seeing my friends as much, I want to. I just feel that this whole "Becca" thing I am doing is giving me problems down that road. I don't get to see my friends because of me, I have no one to blame but me. To which is why I vow from this moment on that I will not yeild to the silly and horrible influences that I usually do. I will go out with my friends, I will call my friends, and I will respect my friends time more that I have been doing.

I am going to volunteer more when I get back to Atlanta. I also want to work a little on the side of building up my friends and mine business. Nothing major, something that can keep me in society, sparks my interest, gives me fluctuation and something that gives me income coming in. I need it. We all need a little something once in a while.

This is me making a promise to my self. This is me doing something. This is me, just me!

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