Thursday, April 7, 2011

Romeo and Depressing

An 1870 oil painting by Ford Madox Brown depic...Image via WikipediaI know it may be a bit cliche but I will always love the story of Romeo and Juliet. I know now that my boo hooing this past few days is all due to the lovely little frienmy that we get once a month. being that I dont take anit depressants, this time of the month is a bit shaky for me. I hate the feeling of being depressed for no reason and then because of that I choose something to be depressed about so that I can say I am upset at something and not nothing. So I have been choosing the heart ache that lives beneath my chest. Raging against myself, others and love.  Not being able to get anything done, not wanting to get anything done. I just walked to the park, sat, fed some ducks and just stared into the gloomy waters and went deep in thought. I would be a little dishonest if I didn't say that part of this was brought on by the fact I saw and heard some news today that just upset me. I feel that my dreams are so close yet so far, that because of others they are creeping slower and slower. Then this morning I saw a confirmation on a situation that I have been ignoring for quite sometime. The one that I have like for so long likes another making me realize that I was used and that was all I was meant for to him. I know that my sadness on this is mostly because my lovely little pms, for yesterday I was proudly annoucing that I had finally deleted his number as not to be tempted to call or text him. wah wah wah! Anyway, I must look positively at this, everything happens for a reason. maybe im not ready to like someone that much or be in a relationship. maybe all this jazz I talk about in being single and loving it and being my own person, (and somewhat selfish). maybe this is just showing me that I do really want what I talk about. then there is romeo and juliet. two teenagers that shakespear wrote to show us the innocence of love. some forget that it was to show beauty and love, something that was very rare in his time...well just rare in general. I love all forms of this story including the modern form with good ole dicaprio. yet everytime I read the story or see one of the movies I always wonder what would happen if they didnt die. would they have run off together? would they have tried to show their families that they loved eachother? its all so sad to think that they will never get their happy ending.
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