Thursday, August 12, 2010

Confessions of the Broken heart, who fell for the beautiful mind

HeartImage via WikipediaSo I have decided to take a break. Take a break from reality maybe. I have postponed the wedding and have decided that I wasn't ready. I needed to have some time to sit back and work things out in my life. There are also things that he needed to work on and that is why we are taking this time to work things out. I have been through some tough things in my life but nothing compares to this. How do you try and help someone you love. Someone that you care about so so much and don't want any harm coming to that person. Yet, they don't know they need help or to work things out in their lives. The man that has loved me the most and still loves me the most needs to learn to accept and love himself. It feels as if my heart is being torn in two. It feels like my soul has been separated. Can a man go crazy from loving someone so much? I feel that he started to have a breakdown the closer and closer we were getting to the wedding. Now he is up north getting the information to which he needs. I am down here the furthest away from my heart, trying to carry on. I am moving to a new place, starting a company, trying to stay busy and exercise. Yet, ever night before I close my eyes, all I see is him. All I dream about is him. Everyone tries to tell me their ways to get over someone, or how to forget and move on. i don't want to forget him. I love him. More than any one I have ever been with. Not for all the stories, and the things that he said to impress me. It was the man that he was when we were together. No one else just us. The man that would watch movies with me or walk on the beach and just be. When we were away from everything. But life isn't a fairy tail, everything happens for a reason, but you have to fight sometimes to figure out what those reasons are. No one can tell you to stop loving someone or how to live your life. You friends and family can only guide you the best they know how. We all can give each other advice and take what we can from it. It has been a while since I have written, but I just couldn't get myself to open up my blogger and talk about this yet. Starting today I will just keep at it. Remember we are all in this together, I must keep reminding myself.
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1 comment:

  1. Becca Boo - LOVING YOU from afar always..sp proud of your courage and this amazing person you have evolved into. Please try to get to a Nia class in Atlanta..I can give u some names. It will support the process you are going through and allow you to be able to choose JOY as the context for your dance through life no matter what emotions u are feeling in your heart and head xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love always and forever, Nicci